Daily bread!!

Very Little is this known about this quiet site. Recently set up a fe days ago, this amateur site is very intriguing and interesting. Set up by a Website mastermind the little 13 year old Nigerian; Temidayo Akeju (TemiAkeju@yahoo.com). he is the Einstein behind this great site, he has already made quite a few websites, and will no doubt make more in the future. The website is set up to mainly portray the point of ''BREAD''.

This word that is becoming vastly popular among Nigerian youth, is a word which means a sentence or topic said by one, which is hard to believe, and in most cases, a lie, is being used almost every day, as people keep "serving bread" to the public. The artist behind this idea is the 15 year old (also a Nigerian youth) Damisi Adeoluwa, and assisted by Adekitan Ayodele, Emails yet to be disclosed, and assisted by yours truly.

The site which is expected to have blown the Nigerian social Networking scene by the first week of November, is set up mainly for Dansol High School students but it  is believed that others are allowed to join. the website consists of blogging, simple and video chatting, photo's, and events. etc has so much potential, and is expected to be on the minds of every students in at least, the city  of  Lagos by December. you can reach it by going to http://dailybread.wall.fm/ with no complications.
more to come on it soon!!



copyright /GhiIlLy/.

LOL - Tales of SeBieber Gomez :)

'I laughed': How Selena Gomez reacted to pregnancy rumours surrounding her hospital stint 

Selena Gomez has laughed off speculation that pregnancy was actually the cause of her illness last month.
The former Disney star, who is dating Justin Bieber, was hospitalised and treated for malnutrition after complaining of headaches and nausea.
However, there were whispers her health scare was pregnancy-related
Talking about the claims, she told Now magazine: 'I laughed. There is nothing you can do, you just have to blow them off.' 

Baby talk: Selena Gomez, pictured here at rehearsal for her upcoming tour in Los Angeles yesterday, has laughed off recent pregnancy rumours

Meanwhile Selena, who turns 19 tomorrow, said that the real cause was her poor diet.
'I wasn't really healthy. I was low in iron. I was dehydrated. I had actually got back from vacation, so I wasn't overworking.
'I'm probably not the healthiest eater.'
The star is fighter fit again and is now preparing for her American tour, which kicks off in Costa Mesa, California, on Sunday.

The Wizards of Waverly Place actress received a surprise visitor at rehearsals in Los Angeles yesterday - none other than her boyfriend Justin.

VIP visitor: Justin Bieber took time out of his busy schedule to visit girlfriend yesterday

Selena was dressed in fitted jeans and a casual white and turquoise striped vest top.
She jazzed up the outfit with a chunky bracelet and a large pair of gold leaf earrings, as usual she looked effortlessly pretty even with her hair scraped back in a messy ponytail.

Justin, 17, also opted for a laid back wardrobe choice with black trousers and a white T-shirt.
He did however pimp his style with a pair of shades and a diamond stud in his ear, likely to have cost what most people earn in a year.
Other than catching up on gossip since their last meeting, the couple celebrated Selena's three nominations at the Teen Choice Awards.
Yesterday it was announced she is in the running for the Choice Summer Movie Star: Female, Choice Summer Music Star: Female and new film Monte Carlo received a nod for Choice Summer Movie.

© \{MeRd}/ Productions
refererd to UGOCHI_N and TOECHUKWU

PRINCESS KATES JAW DROPPING SEXY GOWN !! :P

Half a million people expected to visit Duchess of Cambridge's wedding dress as it goes on show at Buckingham Palace .

Buckingham Palace is facing record demand for tickets for its summer opening — thanks to the Duchess of Cambridge’s wedding dress.
The gown, by Alexander McQueen designer Sarah Burton, will take centre stage when the palace opens for the summer this weekend.
It will be the first time the ivory and white satin gown and 9ft train will have been seen in public since Kate Middleton married Prince William at Westminster Abbey on April 29.

Frock star: The wedding dress of Duchess of Cambridge is to go on show this Saturday at Buckingham Palace, with more than half a million people expected to visit the exhibition throughout the summer.

Visitors are being urged to book in advance to avoid lengthy queues. The exhibition will be open seven days a week but many weekend slots are already taken.
More than half a million people are expected to visit, paying £17.50 a ticket, breaking the previous highest attendance figure of 420,000 in 1994.

mpressive: The dress will be on show in the state ballroom, where William and Catherine's wedding reception was heldThis year’s exhibition also includes the royal family’s collection of Fabergé eggs and jewellery.
The Duchess’s dress will be displayed from July 23 until October 3 in the  palace ballroom — the grand room that was used for their wedding reception and which is the setting for investitures.
Her handmade shoes, diamond earrings - a present from her parents - and the Halo Tiara she was loaned by the Queen will also be on show.
Visitors will be able to watch a video recording of Burton explaining how she made the dress.

Historic: Visitors will be able to view the 1902 State Landau carriage used to carry the Royal newly-weds to Buckingham Palace after the ceremony

One of the couple’s wedding cakes, a fruit cake by Fiona Cairns, will be displayed in the State dining room.
The other cake — a chocolate biscuit cake made by McVitie’s to a special recipe from Prince William — was believed to have been eaten on the wedding day.
However, those hoping to see the maid of honour’s dress, also designed by Burton, will be disappointed. That belongs to Pippa Middleton and will not be on show. Neither will the dresses of the four bridesmaids or the uniforms worn by the two page boys.

Let them see cake! The eight-tiered wedding cake made by Fiona Cairns will be on display in the impressive rooms at Buckingham Palace

The Duchess’s dress is said to epitomise 'timeless British craftsmanship'.
Members of the Royal School of  Needlework, based at Hampton Court Palace, hand-made the lace appliqué for the bodice and skirt.
Visitors can also view the 1977 Rolls-Royce Phantom VI used by Miss Middleton and her father Michael to travel from the Goring Hotel to Westminster Abbey, and the 1902 State Landau carriage in which the new bride and groom returned to Buckingham Palace.
The self-guided audio tours run from 9.30am to 6.30pm and take about two-and-a-half hours. Visitors have fixed start times — the last entry is 4.15pm — to prevent overcrowding.

Crown jewels: Catherine's Robinson Pelham diamond earrings, a gift from her parents, and the Halo tiara loaned to her by the Queen, will also star in the exhibit

Chancellor George Osborne told Parliament last week that Buckingham Palace would be open for longer than in previous years 'as the palace is looking for additional sources of income'.
The Royal Collection ploughs the proceeds back into the upkeep of the royal palaces.
The Queen’s financiers this month admitted they faced an increasing multi-million-pound backlog of work to maintain the palaces, with Buckingham Palace one of the worst affected.
The Buckingham Palace exhibition runs from July 23 to October 3

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Thigh's the limit! Pamela Anderson designs range of sexy and arousing Lingerie 'Couture' stockings.

She has posed in lingerie countless times over the years so it comes as no surprise that Pamela Anderson knows a thing or two about stockings.
Now the actress has put her hosiery knowledge to use, designing a range with U.S brand Secrets in Lace.
The line features five styles, retailing at around $35, and each pair comes with Pamela's signature Couture logo sewn into the fabric.

 

Best leg forward: Pamela Anderson shows off a range of a range of Couture Stockings she designed with U.S label Secrets in Lace

The 5-piece collection is retailing for around $35 a pair and features a special logo designed by Pamela.

      Made of nylon, the stockings feature polka-dots, back seams for an old-fashioned effect and even a reinforced heel and toe for stiletto-lovers.
A spokesperson for the brand said: 'This collaboration is the perfect match, as Pamela Anderson exudes sex appeal, and her stocking line is no exception.

'She knows how to play up her assets; this line exemplifies just that.'

ROCK THOSE VB'S!!! :) :Lacy: Made of nylon, the tights feature polka-dots, back seams for an old-fashioned effect and even a reinforced heel and toe for stiletto-lovers

Age-defying: Pamela, 44, is still in great and refuses to resort to Botox

'These are Pamela's favorites as she worked closely with us to create the
welt imprint and stocking colors.'
The former Baywatch star models the range in a series of provocative poses, wearing underwear and Christian Louboutin heels.
The 44-year-old is still in amazing shape and despite breast-enhancement surgery, claims would never resort to Botox.
She said: 'I haven't done Botox. I don't like all that facial stuff.
'It scares me. You see these people who have had it, and they all look the same.
'I I think I should just age.
'I've never been the prettiest person, and I don't feel I need to chase youth.'

Pamela is not the only celebrity to collaborate with Secrets in Lace as Dita Von Teese also designed a collection of stockings.
Secrets in Lace also sells vintage-style garter belts, girdles and corsets, including the 'Bullet Bra', a 50's-inspired style designed to 'create a sexy projection.'






© \{MeRd}/ Productions

THE REAL TRUTH BEHIND ANGEL- MEL B'S DAUGHTER

'I won't see my daughter because Mel B tricked me into having a baby', says Eddie Murphy

Eddie Murphy has revealed the real reason he doesn't want to have anything to do with his 11-month-old daughter Angel by Spice Girl Mel B - because he believes she trapped him into having a baby.
The Nutty Professor star claimed 32-year-old Mel insisted she was on birth control, and revealed they only had sex three times, according to a US report.
"What was supposed to be a casual relationship ended with her having his baby and taking him to court for millions," a source told The National Enquirer, A local Magazine.

Tricked: Eddie Murphy has spoken out to slam former girlfriend Mel B, who he claims tricked him into having a baby, which is why he will not see their daughter Angel

Read more...

Although Eddie accepts that Angel is his daughter, he has said that he won't see the little girl, because he doesn't want to set eyes on Mel.
A source said: "He says he will have to wait until Angel is older before he can get to know her without any interference from her mother."
Secrets behind the couple's doomed three-month fling have been revealed in legal papers in which Eddie, 46, states that Mel allegedly asked him for a $9million (£4.5million) house, plus living expenses for 18 years in exchange for her silence while she was pregnant.
But Eddie baulked at the demands and it is claimed he has since refused to see the baby and the Spice Girl.

Mel revealed she was pregnant just weeks after the unlikely couple split in the summer of 2006.
Ironically, Angel shares her birthday with her famous father. She was born April 3, 2007.
And ever since then the two have been entangled in a bitter child support battle.
Despite Mel's public protests that Eddie won't support Angel, the actor's lawyers insist he paid Mel $15,000 (£7,500) per month and paid all her medical expenses during her pregnancy.
The source added: "He never thought things would end up like this".

HERE ARE PICTURES OF ANGEL IRIS;

 TRIVIA:
Did you know Mel Bs full name is Melanie Brown?
Mels Current Husband Loves her Foot Massages than Her sex
Angel Iris bears hardly sny resemblance between Eddie and Mel.

© \{MeRd}/ Productions.

 

LOL!!- Our First Lady's Misconduct in Rivers State

Now that President Goodluck Jonathan has ordered the Police and the State Security Service to investigate his wife’s alleged public misdemeanor and scolding of the executive governor of Rivers state, Rotimi Amaechi, he should know that what actually transpired at the event in Okrika transcended mere cantankerous outburst but an outright rehearsal of a pre-arranged script given to the first lady and which she had waited for the opportunity to play it out.

It was really unfortunate that the first lady who is expected to give due respect and honour to the governor who holds an office recognized by the constitution decided to meddle herself in local politics for whatever reasons of which she must be regretting now. It was rude of her to have attacked the governor. It shows that she is a person that cannot be trusted with public office as she has serially shown to be out of control of her emotions and biases. This is the problem which often comes up when people are unexpectedly elevated into public office they did not prepare for. The president’s wife needs to be schooled on the roles of a first lady which at best is a mere courtesy title and nothing more than that.



Those who know will tell you that the entire day was saved by the Holy Ghost who prevailed on Amaechi to calmly accept the public embarrassment and insult because the real Rotimi who is also not on the dummy side of life would have there and then given it back to the First Lady and nothing would have happened.



Worse still, supposing Amaechi’s wife was present at the event and also decided to engage the president’s wife for rudely talking and disgracing her husband in the public, how would the scene have been?



No doubt, the presidential probe which is to ascertain what truly transpired at the event in Okirika, Rivers state came as a result of what President Jonathan called contradicting accounts given by his wife and the Rivers state governor. Embarrassing to the president, the incident has received widespread condemnation and raised again the recurring issues of public misconducts of the First Lady.



The Governor had briefed Dame Patience ahead of the event that he was reaching an agreement about pulling down some structures in order for the state government-owned model school sited in the area to have the space required to meet the school’s standard He equally had told the first lady that the owners of the structures would be duly compensated. This was within his rights as the state’s chief executive and more so, the said school project was for the good of children of Patience Jonathan’s home village.



It was obvious the president’s wife was not acting alone. The ovation she received and the opposition’s subsequent hailing of her act was an indication that she acted out the script of those angling to undermine Amaechi as governor of Rivers state.



Patience Jonathan who hails from Okrika, Rivers state even before the ugly incident was believed to be working under cover to plot an Okrika governor to replace Amaechi and this has been the widespread speculation and even boasting by the Abuja group since Jonathan was sworn- in as the substantive president. She has a right to do that, but her political naivety caused the terrible mis-acting of the script. She gave away the game plan and further acquired more enemies for the husband thereby eroding whatever form of support he is anticipating from certain circles in his bid to clinch the PDP ticket for the 2011 presidential election.







Was it not interesting that the first lady had to wait for the occasion to suddenly realize that land is a serious matter in Okrika and that her people needed land to survive? Since her stay as the first lady of Bayelsa and now the wife of the president of the federal republic, what has she done to better the lives of Okrika and Rivers people?



How could Patience have been so callous in her conduct just few seconds to her husband’s declaration of interest to run for the position of president? Jonathan needs Rivers State’s vote in the PDP presidential primaries as much as he needs the cooperation of Amaechi who wields great influence in the governors’ forum. The last thing Jonathan needs now is more political disaffections or enemies.



Interestingly, Patience Jonathan, a graduate of the College of Education Port Harcourt opted to teach a Ph.D holder (almost) in English studies how to use words in English language. She told Amaechi to desist from the use of the word ‘must’, which in itself was funny because she on her part insisted the governor ‘must’ not use the word must. No be yeye be that?



Jonathan’s police and security probe is more of a political damage control rather than administrative exigency. The first lady’s behavior may have dealt a serious blow on their relationship with the Amaechis and their gang. Even if Jonathan gets the PDP ticket, that does not guarantee that he will win the election if he and his first lady go about acquiring enemies in areas he should have been least worried about victory at the polls.



How can a cantankerous first lady be an asset to an embattled candidate who is struggling with the yoke of zoning and de-zoning? Jonathan obviously has a bigger battle to fight in his home before coming out to face the northern conspiracy which is already threatening to swallow his ambition.



Mrs Jonathan’s attack on Amaechi exposed her political immaturity and for the good interest of the husband whose fate is even hanging on the goodwill of the likes of Amaechi she should stay away from local politics.



Since Jonathan came to the presidency as the vice president, the wife has serially shown she completely lack the comportment expected of holders of exalted offices such as that of the first lady and this is not only disgraceful to the husband but dangerous to the exalted office of the president of the federal republic of Nigeria.



She should go back to Rivers state to publicly apologise to the governor and she should even do it in Okrika, the same community where she misbehaved.

She needs to be reminded that there is no provision for the office of the first lady in the Nigerian constitution. Unless she learns this lesson she may unconsciously be erecting obstacles for Ebele, the husband

© \{MeRd}/ Productions

funny stories

                                                    Curiosity gets the priest 

A priest, in urgent need to use the bathroom, walks into a local bar. The bar is jumping with loud music and lively conversation, but every few minutes the lights abruptly go off. Every time the lights go off, the bar crowd bursts into loud whoops and applause, but when they see the priest enter the bar, the place becomes absolutely quiet.

The priest walks over to the bartender and asks, "Can you please tell me where your bathroom is?"

"Sure, but I have to tell you, father, there's a statue of a naked woman in it and she?s wearing only a fig leaf."

"No problem, I'll just avert my eyes, then," Said the priest.

The bartender then shows the priest to the far side of the bar where the bathroom is located. After a short while, the priest comes out of the bathroom and the bar crowd pauses only long enough to give him a rousing cheer. Perplexed he goes over to the bartender and asks, I'm puzzled. Why did they cheer for me as I came out of the bathroom just now?"

"Well, father, it's because your curiosity has made you human and likeable, just like us," said the bartender. "May I pour you a drink?"

"No thanks you, but, I'm still puzzled," said the priest.

"You see, father," chuckles the bartender, "every time somebody moves the fig leaf on the naked woman statue, the bar lights go off. Now, what do you say to the drink''?

                                                            The Wild old man

An old man shopping at a department store for a gift for his wife was intent on watching a teenage girl who was going through the sale racks. The teenage girl had a Mohawk dyed in various colors: pink, purple, green, and yellow. The old man kept staring at her.

Irritated by his staring the teenage girl finally broke down and sneered, "What's the matter, old dude? I bet you haven't tried anything wild in your whole life, have you?"

The old man did not miss a beat when he replied, "I was drunk one time and was with a Macaw. I was just curious if you were related!"

   

                                      How To  Catch Piece of shit Burglars

It was late and Charlie was about to climb into bed when his wife informed him that there was a light on in their garden shed. Charlie started to go outside to turn off the light but noticed some people in the shed who were busy stealing his things.

He ran back inside right away and called the cops, who asked him "Are there any intruders in your house?" to which Charlie replied no and explained his circumstances. The cops told Charlie that all patrol cars were otherwise occupied, and that he should just lock his door and a uniformed cop would be at his house when one was free.

Charlie answered, "Alright," hung up, waited 30 seconds, and then called the cops again.

"Hello, I just called a short while ago because there were people stealing things from my shed. I want to let you know that they're not a problem anymore because I've just shot every one of them."

Charlie then hung up the phone. In five short minutes, three patrol cars, a SWAT team, and an ambulance arrived, and Of course, the cops caught the burglars in the act.

One of the cops snapped at Charlie: "I thought you said that you shot every one of them!"

"I thought you said there were no patrol cars free!" Charlie answered.

this has been singley largely colletively individually liberally and skillfully a;
© \{MeRd}/ Productions

Escaping Death. a true story

 Escaping Death: True Story

By: Ghiilly 

His whole body was shaking and sweating, as he ran making his way through the crowd that gathered at the tragic scene. He had been walking for what seemed like hours to get to the Christian Institute of Theology where a bomb exploded, turning the new building into ruins. He met everyone on his way. Everyone except for his sister. And as he looked at the familiar faces he shouted “Have you seen Michal?’’ then turning to another person he posed the same question fearing that his sister “Michal” might not have made!

It was the fifteenth of January, 2008; just another day at work for me, nothing seemed different at all. Time went by, and I had fifteen minutes more to go before I headed home. I usually enjoyed standing at the window in the library just to gaze at the beautiful sky and the ocean, and so I spent a couple of minutes standing there (not knowing that that same window will be blown away just two minutes later). Then I walked back to my desk and got back to work.

At 4:23, fire flames reached the sky, all windows exploded, chairs and tables were blown to the other side of the library, the huge door was torn into two pieces, the ceiling fell off ... and what truly happened in the split of a second is something that I cannot describe in words. When I saw the fire, I knew something bad was happening. Deep inside I thought “I’m going to die right here and right now.” I laid my hands over my head and I shouted as everything around me fell off ‘‘Jesus! Jesus! Jesus!” I wasn’t scared, I was terrified, but when I was repeating the name Jesus, it felt like I was calling on Him, and He answered me!

As I shouted Jesus for the third time, silence filled the library. I recall that I stood up, looked at my nice outfit (which I had recently bought), and I couldn’t find any injury; I was miraculously protected.

Later on, after I made it to the crowded street, I stood staring at the bombed vehicle. Some people were bleeding, others were walking around in despair asking about their loved ones. I looked at the policemen that filled the neighborhood and the paramedics were rushing to help all those who were injured.

              I was glad to know that everyone in the building was miraculously protected like myself with slight injuries, on the other hand it was horrible to know that three innocent pedestrians had died.  

I was cold but it didn’t matter anymore! I was alive and that was all that mattered at that time! However, I couldn’t help worrying about my parents who still had no idea that I was alive, since all phone connections went dead. But right then, I heard someone calling my name, “Have you seen Michal? Where is she?” Someone had come for me! I turned to see my brother, his face so pale and hardly breathing. Oh, was I happy to see him!
As he put his arms around me, we both wept … tears of relief.

It’s been one year since the explosion. And even to this day, when I tell my story to others, some people give me the credit telling me that I’m such a good person that even God chose to keep me alive. Well, that’s very nice of them to say, but the thing is I’m not that good. And the astonishing fact is that when the explosion took place I wasn’t on great terms with God. I had a feeling that he was distant, because I was a bit distant from Him. And yet His faithfulness overwhelmed me by saving my life from death, and making the choice to keep me alive. It has nothing to do with me; it has everything to do with Jesus’ faithfulness.


And so you might say: well, okay, Michal … you survived a bomb explosion, so what? People survive car accidents every day, why do you have to right a note about it and make me read it?

Well, you’re absolutely right, but I was just hoping that you wouldn’t have to survive a real bomb yourself in order to realize that: God really truly exists; God is in control of everything and He will never fail you; and, most of all, God loves you and the whole world wouldn’t be the same to God without you.

I just wish you would realize how beautiful it is to know that God holds you in His hand, and you’re never out of His sight. And I pray that this fact would change your life, or at least make you smile today.

Re- published July 2011 © \{MeRd}/ Productions.

© \{MeRd}/ Productions
SK..

Here are some Jokes to keep u laughing when Bored. this is my first blog so dont be too hard on me :D enjoy!!

Dumb and Dumberer; a tale of 2 color blinded robbers

Excerpted from an article which appeared in the Dublin Times about a bank robbery on March 2.   Once inside the bank shortly after midnight, their efforts at disabling the security system got underway immediately. The robbers, who expected to find one or two large safes filled with cash & valuables, were to see hundreds of smaller safes throughout the bank. The robbers cracked the first safe's combination, and inside they found only a small bowl of a sticky white substance thinking it was pudding. As recorded on the bank's audio tape system, one robber said, "At least we'll have a bit to eat."    The robbers opened up a second safe, and it also contained nothing but vanilla pudding. The process continued until all safes were opened.    They did not find one pound sterling, a diamond, or an ounce of gold. Instead, all the safes contained covered bowls of the same sticky white stuff. Disappointed, the robbers made a quiet exit, each leaving with nothing more than a queasy, uncomfortably full stomach. The newspaper headline read: IRELAND'S LARGEST SPERM BANK ROBBED EARLY THIS MORNING... © \{MeRd}/ Productions ________________________________________________________________________

Escaped from Gay-Tanamo Bay :D

A prisoner escaped from jail. He broke into a house around the corner on Elgin St and finds a young couple in bed.   He gets the guy out of bed and ties him up on a chair, ties the woman to the bed and gets on top of her. kisses her on the neck , then gets up and goes to the bathroom. While he is there, the husband tells his wife; " Listen , this guy looks dangerous! He's probably spent a lot of time in prison and has not seen a woman in a long time. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, just do what he tells you. If he gets angry , he may kill us. Be strong honey. I love you.    To which the wife responds" He wasn't kissing my neck he was whispering in my ear. He told me he found you very sexy and asked if we kept any vaseline in the bathroom. Be strong honey, I love you TOO! © \{MeRd}/ Productions _________________________________________________________________________

The Idiot Test

adapted by Ghiilly, seyekay@msn.com/l.ilkay@live.com. Scoring: 21 Correct - Genius 17 Correct - Above Normal 15 Correct - Normal 8 Correct - Nincompoop 6 Correct - Moron 3 Correct - Idiot Questions: 1. Do they have a 4th of July in England? 2. How many birthdays does the average man have? 3. Some months have 31 days; how many have 28? 4. A woman gives a beggar 50 cents; the woman is the beggar's sister, but the beggar is not the woman's brother. How come? 5. Why can't a man living in the USA be buried in Canada? 6. How many outs are there in an inning? 7. Is it legal for a man in California to marry his widow's sister? Why? 8. Two men play five games of checkers. Each man wins the same number of games. There are no ties. Explain this. 9. Divide 30 by 1/2 and add 10. What is the answer? 10. A man builds a house rectangular in shape. All sides have southern exposure. A big bear walks by, what color is the bear? Why? 11. If there are 3 apples and you take away 2, how many do you have? 12. I have two US coins totaling 55 cents. One is not a nickel. What are the coins? 13. If you have only one match and you walked into a room where there was an oil burner, a kerosene lamp, and a wood burning stove, which one would you light first? 14. How far can a dog run into the woods? 15. A doctor gives you three pills telling you to take one every half hour. How long would the pills last? 16. A farmer has 17 sheep, and all but 9 die. How many are left? 17. How many animals of each sex did Moses take on the ark? 18. A clerk in the butcher shop is 5' 10'' tall. What does he weigh? 19. How many two cent stamps are there in a dozen? 20. What was the President's name in 1950? ANSWERS: 1. yes (they also have a 3rd of July, a 2nd of July, etc...) 2. one a year 3. all months have (at least) 28 days 4. the beggar is the woman's sister 5. because he is living 6. 6 (3 per side) 7. no. the man would be dead 8. they are not playing each other 9. 70 (30 divided by .5 is 60) 10. white. (the bear would be a polar bear, because the house must be at the north pole) 11. 2 (you just took 2 apples) 12. a fifty cent piece, and a nickel (one is not a nickel, but the other one is) 13. light the match first 14. half way (then he would be running out) 15. one hour (the first one, a half hour later, and another one more half hour) 16. 9 (all but 9 die...) 17. none. Moses was not on the ark 18. he weighs meat 19. 12 20. Bill Clinton. © \{MeRd}/ Productions ________________________________________________________________________                                                                        The Most Polite Ways to Say Your Zipper Is Down: 10. The cucumber has left the salad. 9. Quasimodo needs to go back in the tower and tend to his bells. 8. You need to bring your tray table to the upright and locked position. 7. Paging Mr. Johnson... Paging Mr. Johnson.. 6. Elvis is leaving the building. 5. The Buick is not all the way in the garage. 4. Our next guest is someone who needs no introduction. 3. You've got a security breach at Los Pantalones. 2. Men may be From Mars.....but I can see something that rhymes with Venus. And the #1 way to tell someone his zipper is unzipped..... I always knew you were crazy, but now I can see your nuts. ___________________________________________________________________________ Good Dentist   A guy and a girl meet at a bar. They get along so well that they decide to go to the girl's place. A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands.He then takes off his trousers and washes his hands again. The girl has been watching him and says, "You must be a dentist." The guy, surprised, says "Yes....how did you figure that out?" "Easy," she replied, "you keep washing your hands." One thing led to another and they make love. After they're done, the girl says, "You must be a good dentist." The guy, now with a boosted ego says, "Sure, I'm a good dentist, how did you figure that out?" "I Didn't feel a thing!". ___________________________________________________________________________ Well thats all for now folks,check back later for more tales, stories, and jokes  this has been singley largely colletively individually liberally and skillfully a; © \{MeRd}/ Productions.. SK...